As I mentioned in my last entry my little brother is separated from his wife and temporarily staying with me. Just when I make up my mind to tell him homeless shelters build character he does something good. Such as remembering to turn off the heater and all the lights or pick the towels that he’s used off the bathroom floor before he leaves. I haven’t gotten around to making him a key yet (actually I don’t plan to but he’s just too stupid to realize it). Yesterday I came home and he was standing at the fridge drinking orange juice straight out the carton. I asked him whether I should even inquire as to how the hell he got into the house, his explanation was that he was high. 
Tell me…how much weed would you have to smoke to think because your sister has a good job it’s okay to break out a bedroom window on occasion if she isn’t home to let you in…
…and you do it more than once?!
Do I even have to say he is brain dead? Well I will because he is. I have to leave post-it notes around the house with simple stuff like: turn off the lights when you leave THIS room. The other night a friend that stopped in for a minute….glanced around the house with a confused look and asked me what I did for Blue Shield of California again. I assured him my home was not an assisted living facility and no mentally challenged people live with me, just my little brother.
Speaking of brain dead…I went out on a sort of second date this past week with this guy I met while playing dominoes on Yahoo a while back. We kept in touch via email and had coffee a few weeks later…he seemed cool, personable, intelligent, a broker, all around nice guy…Funny thing is I swear he wears some type of hair piece. The hair on top of his head is not real (And of course it’s a brotha so that’s the strange part). I don’t know what the hell it is but I call him Tou-peé Maaaan.
Months and months go buy and he’s telling me about the theater in his house, I’m thinking big screen t.v…. what’s the big deal. But he’s insistent that it’s a theater…He’s telling me the measurements of the screen for months and I don’t get it!
See I have a problem with measurements…I’m just not good at measuring things. I measure in Barbie’s … yes Barbies as in dolls. Any and everything is 2 Barbie dolls tall, 3 Barbie dolls tall and so on and so on. He’s telling me about this theater but I just can’t picture it in Barbie’s. 
Okay … so I run into him week before last we talk and I agree to drive to his house…big mistake. His house was lovely. He showed me his theater and it was damn near a real theater well not a Cineplex…but to be in somebody’s house hell it was pretty nice…in Fremont no doubt!?!?! He set up these old fashion popcorn, cotton candy and slush machines around the room giving it a real small theater feel… very neat.
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I did not want to watch a movie so we proceed to the living room. He’s prepared small plates… cheese, olives etc. and I have one glass of wine. We’re having a conversation and I am just talking away…(you probably can’t tell from this blog but I talk a lot…
). Well about an hour goes by, he excuses himself and disappears…he returns butt naked and sits down next to me…YES naked people…completely…not with draws on or a robe… just nothing. I didn’t show a reaction on my face but inside my head I was screaming: OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!
After he sat down I picked up the conversation where we had left off. I just kept talking a mile a minute just like he still had his clothes on. About 5-10 min goes by and he excuses himself, he says “let me go put something on”…When he comes back I am standing at his front door with it open, keys in hand…(I wanted a head start on him). I was thinking:
“you don’t even have to explain that one dog, just throw me my coat from wherever you put it and I’m out”.
As I was rushing to my car I was thinking have all the men in the Bay Area lost their damn minds!? The kicker was this fool came out naked but still had on dress socks AND his toupee. I wanted to tell him soooo bad what he should have done was take that rat off his head. Lord, I wonder where he got it from!?!?
As I was driving home in the dark on the freeway scared to death because I had never driven in that area before…I came to the conclusion that he has done that before. It’s no way he hasn’t. He is probably accustomed to women not knowing how to react and becoming somewhat intimidated. I don’t know what he expected from me, all I know is he came up short…literally. 
Well folks this has been Robyne’s World until next time….
